Contentment

We have been having an issue with my oldest. The other day we went out to dinner to celebrate the end of school. Our usual celebration involves going to get ice cream but, because she had been ill and missed the last three days of school, we took her out to dinner instead. At the end of dinner, we ordered her a hot fudge sundae, which should have made her happy. The unfortunate thing is that I ordered it without the mini-M&M's that were supposed to come with it (due to her peanut allergy and possible cross-contamination). She knows this rule. But, instead of greeting her hot fudge sundae with pleasure and enjoying the decadent desert, she pitched a full-on fit and wouldn't eat it, all because it came without the M&Ms. As I enjoyed the sundae, I couldn't help but be frustrated with her reaction. I mean, she had a hot fudge sundae for heaven's sake! If we had just ordered a hot fudge sundae and NOT requested it without M&Ms, she would have been happy. But, because she knew it was SUPPOSED to have M&Ms and didn't, there was no pleasure in the sundae. It was lacking in something. It didn't matter that it was something that could have been very dangerous for her and that Mom was just trying to keep her safe. She knew she was missing something. And that's all she could think about.

As I ponder this incident, I am struck by how much I am like that. I am without a doubt enormously blessed in this life. Anyone from 3/4 of the world would look at all the material blessings, the two cars parked in our garage, our sturdy home, the generous medical care that we have, the bulging pantry, the numerous choices of clothing in our closets, and wonder that I would ever be discontent. And yet, I find at times I am. There are times I wish my house was bigger. My car was newer. That I had different, more stylish clothes. That I lived somewhere else that was sunnier and warmer in the winter. That I had a cat with less attitude. That I had a full-time maid.

When you live your life always thinking about what you DON'T have, you spoil the opportunity to enjoy what you DO have. And for most of us, that is so very, very much. There are circumstances that can steal our joy and that can cause us pain in the midst of our plenty. But for most of us, if we merely took stock of what we DO have and chose to focus on that and enjoy the blessings we've been given, life would be a lot more pleasurable. The true antidote to discontent is thankfulness. A thankful heart breeds a content heart. Because thankfulness recognizes the number of blessings, counts them, and chooses to focus on the fact that they are gifts. That they are undeserved.

My oldest is definitely a grumbler, and we are working on helping her understand that "fairness" is not something she truly wants. Because fairness would require us to give up a lot of the things that we enjoy in this life. In fairness, why should she have more than a child who doesn't have clean water, or sufficient food to eat, or a sanitary bed to sleep on? She doesn't want fairness. She just wants more. And how often is that me? Looking past the blessings, looking at what others have been blessed with and begrudging what I DON'T have? That leads to discontent, and a grumbling heart.

Today I will try hard to not only teach my child to be thankful, I will try to model it.