The Process of Letting Go...

There are not enough words to express the mix of emotions I'm feeling right now. Today was Sophia's Kindergarten orientation, and I was very excited to meet her teacher, see where she will spend her days, and even ride the bus home with her. Although I was thrilled to be able to experience all of this with her, I am also saddened by the thought that as of tomorrow, our paths will diverge. For approximately seven hours of the day, five days a week, she will head off without me. The hardest part, at least as I imagine it, is that any knowledge I will have of her time at school will be subject to her willingness to communicate, or even her ability to remember, the details. I suppose with all of the high tech gadgets on the market, I could probably invest in a nice little camera that would record every detail for me, but at some point, that would just be creepy.

God knows my heart, and He is incredibly sweet. As I face all the fears of whether or not I've adequately prepared my child for the challenges she will encounter as she begins school, He gives me encouragement. This afternoon, as we shared a snack together, we heard the sirens of a passing fire truck. Immediately Sophia folded her hands and closed her eyes. Several seconds later she looked up with a beaming smile on her face and said, "I just prayed that Jesus would keep the people safe and that they would get to the hospital where they would get all better." My heart almost burst with love for my sweet, darling baby girl. She's growing up, and tomorrow begins the inevitable separation that comes with starting school. And yet, I know that while I may have failed as a parent at times, and even though I will continue to fail, she has a beginning faith in a most wonderful and faithful Father who will continue to guide her perfectly. It's the affirmation I needed that, while I may be letting go, He never will.